2007年9月1日星期六

Move to NYU

I moved to NYU yesterday. Friday afternoon around West 4th street was nice and quiet. People were walking their dogs and enjoying the sunshine and the mild wind. I was thinking about the moving as tedious process, and it turned out to be fun. The local grocery stores were very pricey (at least one third more expensive than Apple Tree and out University Store ) and I felt I was even poorer immediately. The cozy city life makes me feel I am totally a rural drifter falling into cosmopolitan. Columbia suddenly becomes distant and rural and quiet. Am I in the heart of the city now? Is this feeling of uneasiness totally normal for a person standing in the turmoil of the city? Unfortunately, it only happens when I am about to life this wonderful town. I almost have the illusion that I was a freshman again and moved into college again. How life has changed since the beautiful and peaceful September of 1995! Moving makes me become nostalgia, even though I am not sure what I am nostalgia about.

2007年8月30日星期四

Learn about death

I would like to share my interests in life-and-death education with you. Very good website with online courese syllabus. http://gigabyte.fxsh.tyc.edu.tw/life2000/indexhome1.asp Blogs about life-and-death studies http://deatheducation.mysinablog.com/index.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=677799

2007年8月29日星期三

China’s Environmental Crisis

Copy from New York Times series: Chocking on Growth This is an interactive map of environmental issues in China comparing to L.A. Beijing has three times of air articles than L.A. in 2005!!! http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2007/08/26/world/asia/20070826_CHINA_GRAPHIC.html# Slide shows of pollution in China inner land. Photos by Chang W Lee. (The music by Zoe Keating is fantastic. http://www.zoekeating.com/) http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/world/20070826_CHINA_OVERVIEW_FEATURE/index.html Video clip of real costs of pollution in China. Joseph Kahn, Times Beijing Bureau Chief, and Alex Wang, Project Director of National Resource Defense Council, talked about the Green G.D.P. and its doomed failure in China. http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2007/08/26/world/asia/choking_on_growth.html#story3

2007年8月28日星期二

cooking with video guide

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-make-ratatouille

今天偶然

今天偶然看到荞麦的blog,和前几天发现的G点一样,都是很有趣的女生写作。G点好吊书袋(http://www2.tianyablog.com/blogger/view_blog.asp?BlogName=geegeegee),借历史上的名人名言名事来抒发对当下礼崩乐坏的社会的不满。比如,她借重耳《被迫当官》说官场的险恶,借宋襄公《太有追求也不好》说明榜样的力量是危险的,借鲁昭公讲《吹黑哨的下场》,借周公论证《做人不能太厚道》,借季札说明为何要《坚决做一个党外人士》,实在是有趣的驴唇不对马嘴的解读。

荞麦麦写些生活琐事,编辑部里的故事,非常有趣。比如,

“医生的安慰真是不同凡响啊!!DR安慰我说:世上有个P大的事啊!死个人也不过5分钟,昨天我们医院一个老奶奶去做穿刺,结果穿到了大动脉,就挂掉了。之前还笑嘻嘻的,能说能笑的,5分钟就挂了。所以这个世界上都没什么大不了的事情,死个人都这么容易。

我一个劲儿点头表示赞同。但心里其实在想:生死事小,丢脸事大嘛!

!! 再说前天,我们登了个关于“东方神起”的稿子,结果接到一帮小LOLI的抗议骚扰电话。到了昨天晚上,竟然又有一个四川小LOLI打来电话,小菜受不了了,吼道:你怎么现在才打电话来?稿子昨天就登了,就有一堆人打电话过来了,你竟然现在才打,你是不是真的喜欢“东方神起”啊?你怎么对得起你的五只哥哥啊?你赶紧好好反省一下!!

小LOLI:………………(然后就精神崩溃地挂了电话……) ”

她最近介绍的一部香港电影也不错。

“《性工作者十日谈》。终于看了这部凶器同学推荐的电影。还不错。我以前挺喜欢邓健泓的,很可爱,笑咪咪的,他竟然在这部戏里演一只鸭,深情且悲情,竟然演得很不错!惊诧。这部戏里最纯情的一个角色竟然是个人妖!竟然很讨人喜欢!当然啦,这部戏最重要的就是去看台词啦!

最中意的台词:妈的,我一出道就想做一个健康快乐的Happy鸡。七年来,我从不赌,不养小白脸。我不做不戴套的生意。我他妈的也不抽烟,不喝酒,不吸毒。我他妈的也从来不闹心情沮丧。谁做鸡做得有我这么意志坚强啊?他妈的,我干了7年。他妈的7成男人都是打软棍的,他妈的,那些臭男人自己硬不起来,就说我没鸡味儿,他妈的我这么专业,谁说我没鸡味? 还有一句:我他妈的卖身还不够贱啊?还要卖笑? ”

根据新浪影音介绍“欢场姊妹花患难相扶持、鸭店男妓与易装人妖相依恋、舞厅妈妈生遇上同志大丈夫情海翻波、北姑勤奋向上衣锦还乡、女大学生锲而不舍争取娼权,还有一楼一凤、企街等不同性工作者的遭遇拼凑而成故事,以十日的时间绘出夜总会行业的夕阳之歌。  这群性工作者,跟你与我一样,会遇到工作不顺意、感情挫折,有血有肉有理想,讲专业、讲尊严。可是,因为他们的工作涉及“性”,便不为世俗所接受,成为边缘一族,再加上时代变迁的冲击,这群性工作者应如何自处?  这出电影将带你进入性工作者的世界,以平实却具戏剧性的手法,感动而不煽情的内容,跟你大谈特谈,论尽行内百态。”这还不够煽情?

说到煽情,今天写论文的“致谢”部分(ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS)。绞尽脑汁啊,终于在网上发现现成的中国留美博士写的模版。每句都可以抄袭,就是下面的比较难,“感谢我的太太……在我撰写论文期间,她基本上是一个Weekday single-mom and a full-time scientist”。哥们,这是多么幸福的生活啊!有人替你烫衣服、煮面条、生孩子、挣生活费,求着你写论文。看不腻味死你!

我的联想受到刺激,开始捉摸该把谁放进我的致谢感言里。这个工作的难度不亚于酝酿奥斯卡颁奖的发言诶!首先感谢导师和委员会的各位老师,感谢他们不吝赐教,勇于帮我改正论文中不可胜数的语法错误。

其次,感谢把我领到学术研究这条歪道上的各位学者、老师、同学、朋友,名次部分先后,以拼音字母位列。然后,感谢八杆子都打不着的学会、基金会、研究所和大学为我毫无价值的研究提供的奖学金。特别注明,没有他们的支持,这样的垃圾是不会产生的(This research would not have been possible without the generous financial support from XXX)。

最后,非常令人感动地,感谢了我的父母、家庭、亲友、在北京和纽约的朋友,因为是他们“guided me to make meaning out of my doctoral study as a pilgrimage to the infinite and charming intellectual world”。

够拽吧!我也这么觉得。

2007年8月27日星期一

断魂

下午到河边公园跑步。礼拜天的下午,暑热已经退去,河边公园里密密麻麻的绿树和脚下温润缜密的泥土,让我突然想到,我已经好多年没在泥巴地上玩过剁刀了。要是现在有一把刻刀,我要给自己画一块大大的地盘。在这块地盘上我就是老大,我要刻出自己的足球场、网球场、高尔夫球场,三居室的大公寓,巨无霸size的dog-run,还有水景的阳台,和私人的图书馆。有房子有地的感觉真好,即使只是想象一下。
一口气跑到70多街,转到花园的入口,地上有孩子用粉笔写了一个大大的“HOPE”。我顺着楼梯跑下去,沿着哈德逊河溜达。公共网球场里照常挤满了人,路边的长椅上坐着许多舒服地看书人。河水有点浑浊,里面漂着许多木头的碎片,难道前面有沉船?我迎着夕阳走过去,阳光刺眼,我随便地试着哭了一下,心情果然转好。我把棒球帽的帽沿压得低低的,路人也不好意思过来劝我,反正对这河水发疯的我不是第一人,也不会是最后一人。干脆找了一块石头坐下来,想象河底的世界。
比约克在我的耳朵里不停的唱着那首“The Anchor Song”,
I live by the ocean
And during the night
I dive into it
Down to the bottom
Underneath all currents
And drop my anchor
This is where I'm staying
This is my home 这首歌听起来让人浑身发抖,就像着一个猛子扎到河里去。她的歌有一种摄人心魄的力量,好像叫得人断魂。那些歌词就像是匕首,刺到你的肉里,纠缠着你每一点细枝末节的感受神经末端。不听也就罢了,如果听进去了,就觉得灵魂出壳一般的快乐。她的“Debut”中还有一首歌叫做“Violently Happy”
Since I met you
This small town hasn't got room
For my big feelings
Violently happy'
Cause I love you
Violently happy
But you're not here
Violently happy
Come calm me down
Before I get into trouble
I tip-toe down to the shore
Stand by the ocean
Make it roar at me
And I roar back
Violently happy
'Cause I love you
Violently happy
I'm aiming too high……
我带着比约克和她的歌在河边公园里流浪,从树林的一端到另一端,直到太阳落到新泽西那边去了。晚饭以后,朋友打电话来说,今晚有满月,要不要去看看。好啊!我们从WestSide Market 买了许多橙子和蛋糕,在Low Library旁边的草坪上坐下来。到处都是为了迎接新生而搭建的白色帐篷,和蓝白两色的气球。巴特勒图书馆的灯光达到草坪上的白帐篷顶上,好像是在放映露天电影。天空干净明亮,月亮像是一整块cheese cake,上面还铺了一层柠檬酱,诱人极了。我脱了鞋,光着脚在草坪上走着,感受地面的凉爽和湿润。我们有一搭没一搭的聊天,从吕克.贝松的电影,到Bernhard Schlink和Patrick Sueskind的小说,到我们所喜爱的情色电影。
朋友开始讲她学习潜水的故事,如何做准备,如何下潜,如何呼吸,如何上升,如何在遭遇洋流的时候脱险,如何在迷失方向的时候找到自己的方向。她说,25公尺以下的海洋就会变得黑暗,所有美丽的珊瑚和热带鱼都消失了,只有黑色的岩石和沙子,海水的温度会降得很低,光线很暗,压力也会变大。不同温度的洋流冲击到一起,那种景色就好像是在燃烧的蜡烛上面,冷热空气搅合到一起的样子。如果不留神,就会被那些没有颜色、没有痕迹的洋流带走。有的时候人太紧张,会过快的消耗掉自己的氧气,这个时候只能依赖同伴的氧气来脱离险境。所以潜水的时候都是两两结伴而行,每个人都要对另一个人的生命负责。除了洋流,另一个危险就是浮出水面。潜水的人要在上升的过程中逐渐排除肺里的空气,否则出水以后,肺就会爆炸。而且,潜水两天之内不能乘坐飞机,肺里残存的氮气同样会引发生命危险。其实,最可怕的是水底的黑暗。那种压倒一切的黑暗让人感到莫大的恐惧。
我笑问,潜水这么危险,到底有什么东西让你乐此不疲?她想了想,眼睛闪着着迷的光。她说在25公尺以下的海底,如果你抬头看水面,就会看到阳光在遥远的水面上闪光,好像是天堂的大门。有的时候,会有一群一群的小鱼游过来,它们旋转地前进,在你的身边绕圈儿。当它们旋转的时候,阳光总会从某一个角度打到鱼群身上,那惊鸿一瞥有一种震撼人心的美。这个大概就是深水潜水者的乐趣。他们有机会了解到一个常人所不知的沉静世界,那里面好像是潘恩的迷宫,只有身处其中,才会体会它的迷人之处,而在外人看来,那不过是一个寒冷的世界。我打了一个寒颤,美会让人沉迷,那些选择不再从海底回来的人有福了,
Like Someone in love.
Lately I find myself out gazing at stars
Hearing guitars like someone in love
Sometimes the things I do astound me
Mostly whenever you're around me
Lately I seem to walk as though I have wings
And to sing like someone in love
Each time I look at you
I'm light as a cloud
And feeling like someone in love
Sometimes the things I do astound me
Mostly whenever you're around me
Lately I seem to walk as though I have wings
Run into things like someone in love
Each time I look at you
I'm light as a cloud
And feeling like someone in love
Like someone in loveLike someone in love

Beijing in one person's eyes

2007年8月26日星期日

想翻译一首Akhmatova的诗;

shit, 里面都是我不认识的英文;

这简直就不是一本像样的俄罗斯诗集;

怎么会有这么多拗口的动词、名词和形容词?

太多的文字从来都是交流的敌人;

初恋的情人话多;

热恋的情人无语;

喜欢桑格格的短歌;

她的短句子们像是万花筒;

每一次摇晃都会产生更新奇的意象;

而且;

我们都是这样地热爱夏天;

她的《反光》 如是说;

我面前的这些;  

花、草、人、虫、车、楼、路、猫、汽水、蛋糕;  

你们好;    

求求你们;  

用你们骄傲吝啬的大脑;

记得我吧;  

我是一闪而过的反光;  

我暂时有活的血液;

我会死;  

而你们将一直一直的存在;    

与其谈论我死后的时间;  

不如现在赐给我一个;  

温柔的目光;  

我贪婪地迎合你们的每一个律动;  

内心是不舍、怨恨和热爱

What’s up, China?

New York Times worried about China only to the extent that either something really bad happened or something quite unexpected happened. Open the web page of Times today, and there are two articles stand out for today. One is about the coal mining industrial and its side-effect on Chinese environment, and the other is about the offering of personal museums to 8 contemporary Chinese artists by the city of Du Jiang Yan in Sichuan Province. The first article is one from a series of articles (Choking on Growth) by JOSEPH KAHN and JIM YARDLEY, titled As China Roars, Pollution Reaches Deadly Extremes. The articles describes China as an environmental nightmare with high death tolls.

“Chinese cities often seem wrapped in a toxic gray shroud. Only 1 percent of the country’s 560 million city dwellers breathe air considered safe by the European Union. Beijing is frantically searching for a magic formula, a meteorological deus ex machina, to clear its skies for the 2008 Olympics.

Environmental woes that might be considered catastrophic in some countries can seem commonplace in China: industrial cities where people rarely see the sun; children killed or sickened by lead poisoning or other types of local pollution; a coastline so swamped by algal red tides that large sections of the ocean no longer sustain marine life.

China has no Energy Ministry. The Energy Bureau of the National Development and Reform Commission, the country’s central planning agency, has 100 full-time staff members. The Energy Department of the United States has 110,000 employees.

China does have an army of amateur regulators. Environmentalists expose pollution and press local government officials to enforce environmental laws. But private individuals and nongovernment organizations cannot cross the line between advocacy and political agitation without risking arrest.

At least two leading environmental organizers have been prosecuted in recent weeks, and several others have received sharp warnings to tone down their criticism of local officials. One reason the authorities have cited: the need for social stability before the 2008 Olympics, once viewed as an opportunity for China to improve the environment.”

The article is critical enough and does not offer too much a solution. It argues that China has random governmental regulations, but does not have a market solution to control pollution. This sounds really satirically since this morning, I listen to PBS and one of the news is about residents in Illinois sued the factories in Indiana for polluting their air. Is there a market solution to this instead of legal action? I am not sure.

DAVID BARBOZA reports that local government in Du Jiang Yan will build 8 museums and a public museum for contemporary Chinese artists by Oct 2008. The city government hand picked eight of the most soldable artists in China, including celebrities such as Zhang Xiaodong and Fang Lijun. The article believes that this is a reflection of the booming art market in China and a shift towards modern art works.

“For years their work could not be exhibited in China, but now the country’s leading contemporary artists are being courted by major art collectors abroad and their paintings set records at international auction sales. A local government in Sichuan Province — the area in western China known for its natural beauty, spicy food and talented painters — is taking notice.

Zhang Xiaogang is one of eight artists who have been offered their own museums as contemporary art flourishes in China.

It has offered to give eight contemporary artists, all under 60, their own personal museums to operate. The group includes some of China’s best-known avant-garde artists: Zhang Xiaogang, Wang Guangyi, Fang Lijun, Yue Minjun, Zhou Chunya, He Duoling, Zhang Peili and Wu Shanzhuan. All have accepted, and Dujiangyan, a city near the provincial capital, Chengdu, will soon begin construction on an 18-acre plot of land. The museums are scheduled to open in October 2008.

In a country with no major museum of contemporary art — not even in Beijing, where most of the eight artists work — this is a novel development. But in China, everything is changing at warp speed: artists who sold works for $100 in the 1990s have become multimillionaires operating huge studios and driving BMWs. They are helping to transform the style of the country’s biggest cities.

But in recent years Beijing has significantly loosened restrictions on what can be exhibited in China as the global art market has fed a boom in new studios, galleries, museums and art districts in many of its cities. Today only the most controversial works — those with explicit sexual images or harsh depictions of high-ranking Communist Party officials — are banned.

If the artists choose to display their own works, the museums will have an enviable collection. Prices for art from many of them have skyrocketed on the auction market. Individual pieces by Zhang Xiaogang and Mr. Yue, for example, have sold for more than $2 million.”

分裂

昨天忘了一件大事,伤害了一个好朋友。早上,站在花店门口,不知道应该怎样才能够向她道歉。最后选了三朵向日葵,八月的花朵,恳求原谅的花朵,希望你能原谅我。

最近精神有点恍惚,不见了两年的一个人突然跑出来,好像没事儿人似的说要见面,然后又像水汽一样蒸发了。昨晚回来的时候,从皇后区大桥上看曼哈顿,水气旺盛,整个中城都笼罩在雾里。偶尔有一两座高楼的尖顶从雾中闪现出来,好像是海上的浮动灯塔。曼哈顿宛若一座浮城,在没有尽头的空间中移动。

我们从66街穿过中央公园,擦着儿童动物园的边儿上过去,我在心里纳闷,狮子睡了吗? 猴子们睡了吗?海象睡了吗?59街那边的灯火在天际线上蔓延,车子无声地穿过一座又一座桥洞,把中城的风景分割成一格一格的,好像是慢放的电影画面。这种潮湿、炎热的夏夜,带着上个世纪20年代奢华的余味,暧昧而诱人,好像我们马上就要开着车子去参加Joseph Moncure March的史诗The Wild Party所描述的那样疯狂的夜宴。

今天早晨,从六点钟开始就睡不着了。每隔半个小时醒来一次,最后不得不强迫自己起床、刷牙、吃早饭,然后等着朋友来帮我搬家。朋友开着车,他的GPS系统操着不紧不慢的澳大利亚口音的英语,不断地说着,turn left on Broaadway。嘿,口音比我还早。早晨在邮局生的一肚子闷气一扫而光。

7点钟的时候去体育馆游泳。一进去就下了一大跳,到处都没有人。我换了衣服进游泳池,游泳池四周的灯光都黑着,水面上闪着暗蓝的光。我吓了一跳,跑到楼上的女更衣室里洗澡。这里也没有一个人。我走进公共浴室,听到更衣室那边有人唱歌,但是没有一个人过来洗澡。我的汗毛都竖起来了。这些情节简直就是一部完美的恐怖片。吃晚饭的时候,我把这个故事讲个朋友听,她觉得我应该花点时间,好好写一部体育馆惊魂记。可不是,在一个没有人的体育馆里到处碰到被用不同方式谋杀的人,这个真够刺激的。

我们不知道怎么的开始讨论《香水》这本小说和根据此书所拍摄的电影。影片里面那个疯狂的小子绝望地渴望爱和被爱,在他身上是人类性格的分裂一方面是对于未知的追求,另一方面是对于美的毁灭。他想从短暂易逝的美中提炼出永恒的美。其实他忘了人生的根本原则,美是感觉而不是皮相,这一点和爱一样,都是可遇而不可求的。不顾一切的去追求,即违背个人的天命。违逆自己的天命不会导向梦寐以求的成功,相反地,是一个虚妄的人的毁灭。