On us- a generation with low EQs

The long hours of phone call yesterday night makes me really exhausted and the yoga this brings me back to life again. It is a painful experience to learn your friend is suffering and you can not help her out. I guess the emotional questions are always difficult to deal with, no matter how high your IQ is. We talked through her problem with bf and job hunting, and it seemed that we all tried to figure it out in a quite rational way, in a analytical way, and in a emotionaless way. In the end, I asked her, "do you know what other people do in this kind of situation?" She replied in such an interesting way. "You see, I know a person who responses without much reasoning. Once he learned about my relationship with my ex bf and our breakup, he began to hate all Chinese people, Chinse cusine and even Chinese vingar. That's what people usually do." We laughed and the answer was that simple! All though I had never experienced a really relationship, but I understood that she was in such a struggle and many of her career decisions wer affected by her emotional turbulance recently. The big problem is you can never control this kind of stuff, especially when you do not have much experience in the battle field for love and lust. I used to believe we were all belong to the intellectual type and we could think things through. In her words, we use our head instead of our heart all the time. There is a dangour here, that is, we can be easily touched but don't know really how to play the game of love. I think she made a right decision to quit the battle because she can not win anything from it, but still she got hurt. We have been friends for such a long time (about 16 to 17 years), but she still not felt comfortable to talk with me about her relationship which makes me very sad. Maybe we should open our mind earlier and that will make our lives much easier. Or maybe we should learn earlier to talk and discuss our problems, even thouse painful ones. She mentioned almost none of our old pals had any luck in love. Most of us are single and work hard. It is true in the sense that we are prohibited to know love when we are in middle schools and high schools, but I don't think that is the only reason that we don't have the ability to love and be loved. The cult of not speaking of love and affection in our homes and in schools is growing out of our youth time in late 1980s and 1990s. Even though we read all the stuffs by Wang Shuo, Wang Meng, even Qiong Yao and Yi Shu, we dared to practice none. There are so many invisible lines around us, so many taboos. Once we get use to them, we are not even aware of their existence and their impacts. In this sense, we internalize them. It is funny because we were also deeply influenced also by the whole idea of "romantic love" in both the traditoinal western literature and Chinese literature. So the combination of these two streams is a generation of us, who don't pay any attention to the femism aspect of our body and mind, who dream about soul mate all the time, and who are so low in EQ. I don't want to victimize us as the sacrifice of certain social culture environment. But it is a tragedy of our education and our times.